Hey Whore.

I'm updating you, are you proud of me? Of corse not your a stupid online diary.

So, I have two reasons to this update.

1) I need to vent on something without human emotions.
2) It's been awhile.

I guess I should start,

So, there's this boy. When he talks to me I smile, you know, that same old. I really liked him, of corse I did (You're supposed to like people who make you happy right?). Well, it turns out it was a lot more then like. It was to the point that when he said he felt the same I almost hyperventilaited.

It's to the point I broke up with my girlfriend of eight months to be with him. I suppose I should be happy, right? Well, I am happy. Just, not the happy I should be.

After eight months, a relationship is hard to end. And to do it as I did, was totally horrendious. Especially with the way she felt for me. I'm trying to make it better, but it's not working. Of corse not. Even you Whore, the stupid online diary without any emotion or personal thought's know it's not gonna get better. No matter what I fucking do, it won't get better. So why am I trying? Why not leave him and go back to her?

A) I can't do that, it would hurt me to that. Plus, the damage is done, it wouldn't fix abything.
B) I don't want to lose her.

The eightmonths we shared was amazing, the friendship we shared before that was amazing to. I miss it, sometimes I wish we didn't know eachothers feelings for eachother, then I realize, those 8 months would have been complete hell.

I guess to say what I can't, I'll use some lyrics from AFI. "If only pure sweetness was offered, why's this bitter taste left in my mouth?"


Ta